I'm from Elsewhere

Today as I walked from one of my classes I caught myself doing some serious day-dreaming. There are certain times in my life when, to make things seem more bearable, I imagine I'm somewhere else living another life. I imagine myself and my surroundings to be in a different place and time. I could be walking around, incredibly intelligent mind you, at Harvard. Or sometimes I'm a hip young single living on her own in Nashville just waiting to be discovered by a talent agent, or a rising young song-writer, whichever comes first. It makes things seem easier to do if I can imagine for just a minute that I'm not where I am, waiting for finals to come and go. It isn't that I don't like where my life is heading, but I'm a dreamer. I like to think that I could have the great life I dream of because that is the way I set my goals. They may seem far-fetched and crazy to some people, but to me they are the fuel for my future. My imagination is the key to my drive because it reveals in me my wildest passions for life. It helps me see where I think I might thrive. Ok, so I'll never be a Harvard grad. It still makes me think that I can do my best on my work and be just as good as someone who does go there. I'm idealistic, yet very realistic. I think that smacks me right into the optimist category. I don't think that my dreams are terribly fantastic. Some are more ridiculous than others, but it's still thrilling to dream them occasionally. Dreaming is what I believe will keep me young as I get older and grayer. I am happy to hope.

Peace

The Lone Shoe

Does the Cinderella story really exist? That was my question today as I walked upon a lonely shoe lying in front of my building. It sat there, looking quite distressed, and I pondered how it managed to get there in the first place. I quickly ruled out the idea that, in the words I heard so often from my mother growing up, it "sprouted legs and walked there". Though it would be quite a story, I also doubt that an angel was flying quickly to the aid of another one of God's many children and dropped his stylish slip on. So what did happen to that shoe? It's a puzzling thing to me when there is something as important as a shoe left sitting alone by the side of the road. Does that mean that the other shoe is on someone's foot, brandishing them a limper for the rest of the day? This particular shoe looks as though it was adorning someone's foot this very day because the back of the shoe was flattened down onto the sole as though the person decided to make it into a make-shift slip on for ease. I'm guessing, like our dear fairytale friend Cinderelly, the person, in a rush to get to exam review, was walking at a brisk pace, and in the rush of the moment, walked right out of their shoe and couldn't spare a moment to walk back and retrieve it. They may have done so in hopes of finding a kindly prince who would size up their foot and return it with a kiss. This is the story that I choose to believe. The alternative of course is that the person is lazy or moronic and either didn't care enough to walk back to the shoe where they left it or is so out of touch with their own body that they didn't even realize they were walking around with a naked foot. These are also the kind of people, girls particularly, who sit in a chair with half their back exposed and never even know that they are making the entire world privy to their backside, something we don't necessarily desire the privilege of seeing. The only other explanation I can find is that someone was carrying a full bag of items, including a pair of shoes, and one slips out unbeknown to the carrier. Whatever solution we might find to this little mystery, I have to say that it must not have been a terrible loss. As far as I know, the person who lost it has no desire to find it again.

Peace

Happiest Birthlings

Today was my 20th birthday. I'll expand later on what my thoughts are on being this old, but now is not the time being that it's 4am and I'm very sleepy! I just wanted to let the record show that I have phenomenal friends. I feel very blessed tonight to have the people I celebrated my birthday with in my life. Other than that, I'm afraid I need to stop. I don't think I'm making very coherent thought and my sentences are getting a little difficult to understand.

Peace

On the "American Dream"

I had to do an extra credit assignment for one of my English Lit classes recently and I was happy with the result. We were to respond to a prompt about the subtitle to the book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. The subtitle reads: "A Savage Journey into the Heart of the American Dream". Here is my response.

I think so much of our society today has strayed far away from the American dream and into an every man for himself mentality. The “American dream”, the one men and women have served and died for in the armed forces and the one that people in other countries often look toward for their future, started out as a good thought but turned into something ugly. By basic definition the American dream is people striving to better themselves for the good of the country. It is the idea that you can achieve anything you set out to do. It is your parents telling you at age five that when you grow up, you can do anything you want to do, be anything you want to be, go to school wherever you want to go, etcetera. The sad truth about all those encouraging words is that they are not always true. I believe that as a nation, we have become so used to hearing these words about opportunity and goal reaching, we have almost forgotten that it actually takes something more than ambition to get there. We have come to expect the good things in life to just fall in our laps because if we want it, we are told we can have it.
I think this may be what Hunter S. Thompson is saying with his subtitle “A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream”. The American dream is a savage journey. To get what you want to get, we are told that sometimes you have to step on a few toes. It is an “all for one” mentality that leaves off the “one for all” part and makes it a just a perk. For example, when someone is trying to rise to a top position in a company, I would venture to say that the company itself is not the first thing on the person’s mind. A higher position would help them achieve the American dream. They will accumulate more wealth and stature, and if their ideas happen to help the company out too, well that is great. It paints a pretty sad picture, but I fear that it is true. The American dream is savage. It causes us to think more for ourselves than for those around us.
To make the American dream a less savage idea, I believe there are certain mind-set changes we all have to make. More than striving to be the best at everything, we need to help others reach their goals as well. We need to teach our children that it takes more than talent and will to get to the top; it takes hard work and character as well. With character, we are able to look to others and work together with them to help the greater good. We are so divided as a country because it becomes about individuals rather than the whole body of Americans. It becomes about fame and fortune and not about humble service for each other so that more people are reached and served.
The American dream can be a good thought, if carried out in the right way. I would hope that Thompson might agree as well. It just means striving to do better as an individual in order to affect the country, and in many cases the world, for good. It does not have to be savage or selfish; it can honestly be something worth fighting for.

Peace

We Adjust

I find that we all adjust to the kinds of things and situations we are exposed to. For instance, the mouse on my laptop started creeping all over my computer screen all by itself as though it was possessed. My mouse has ADHD. This all commenced a little over a month ago. At first it was amusing. "Ha, my mouse is gently gliding all around my page without the aid of my finger! How funny!" Yeah, that was my first thought. That is, until my computer savvy friend couldn't fix it. So, for the past month I've just had to get over it. I've adjusted. I'm patient with it like it's a child. I've learned it's routine. Now, I place it in the line of it's creep, and when it passes (by itself) over the icon I desire to click on, I quickly pounce on the mouse-pad and double click with the dexterity and preciseness of a cat on the prowl.
Having this blog is an adjustment of sorts. I had a blog once before when I was in high school. All I can say is that to read it now makes me physically ill. Really, it's horrendous! I vowed that I would never again put my writing on the internet for others to peruse. It was too painful a to think of what they might think of my terrible free-writing. Here's where I've had to adjust. I'm essentially an English major. Meaning: I do a lot of writing and saving for my classes. Because of this fact, my poor little hard-drive is filling up quickly. I couldn't see writing journal entries and wasting hard-drive when I could simply entrust my many thoughts to the good people at Google. So here we are. Instant adjustment.
I don't think all adjustment is bad. Just take my story about the blog. I didn't yield to any kind of evil. All I did was make a choice on behalf of my computer. However, I think that sometimes I adjust to things out of laziness. Example, I've found the perfect spot on the couch while watching a movie. When it's over, I realize that before I situated myself in this comfortable position I forgot to bring the remote with me. The next movie coming on is something that I would really rather not watch, but the retrieval of the remote would require moving my body from this place of sweetness, ending the perfection forever. What do I do? I adjust. I choose one of a few options. Option 1: Look around my immediate vicinity for a creative way of getting the remote without having to move. Can I fashion a makeshift net out of my gum and that fuzzy blanket at my feet? Will my arm/leg reach it without me having to strain my muscles? Option 2: Just watch the crappy movie. Maybe it will be more enriching than you thought. Doubtful, but you don't have to move. Option 3: Fall asleep. Option 3 is generally the one I choose. It's the easiest, and, in my opinion, the most beneficial. And there, I've adjusted to the situation. It's a simple fact. We do adjust to everything.

Peace